wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
