We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You need Xanax blowdarts
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
