Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
