She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
