Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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