I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
