I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
