____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
