last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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