Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
