We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
