They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
