How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
