If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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