I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
