i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
