so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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