look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
