I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
