Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
