Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
