whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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