u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
