have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
