the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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