What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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