a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
