think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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