sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
