I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
