I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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