Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
