I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
