coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
