I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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