Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
