is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
