and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
