It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
