New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
