East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
