Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
