no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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