If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Houston, we have a squirter
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
