Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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