Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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