you guys were way drunker than both of me
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
