what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
