I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
