operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
